Ms Brightside
by shaneequa
Summary: Jealousy, turning saints into the sea.


Title: Ms. Brightside  
Author: Shaneequa  
Disclaimer: Don't own the show nor the song. Just borrowing for the moment.  
Rating: PG  
Summary: Jealousy, turning saints into the sea.  
Warning: Hollis Mann !  
Song: Mr. Brightside by The Killers  
Author's Note: My first ever ever ever JIBBS, so please be gentle (: Sorry about any mistakes. No beta, but I try.

_I'm coming out of my cage  
And I've been doing just fine  
Gotta gotta gotta be down  
Because I want it all_

Jennifer Shepard, Director. That's what it said on the door on the office. It was more like a cage where she was confined into for days on end, only being able to fit nap times in the middle of all her work. It wasn't that she minded much; it was her job. She had given so many things to get where she was. As she gazed out of her window on that cloudless night, she saw agent by agent come out with a smile because they were finally able to go home. She sometimes wished that she could go home and have someone waiting there for her. But she doesn't. It's just another one of the things she had given up because she wanted it all; a career, revenge for her father's death and maybe somewhere along the way a man that she loves and would love her just the same. A family.

Well, two out of three isn't bad.

Almost having three out of three isn't bad either. _Almost_ being the keyword.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs, the first man she had pictured spending the rest of her life with, but she was frightened. He made her feel things she never thought was possible in reality. Thought they were only for fairy tales and chick flicks.

She was so scared that she did the first thing that she could think of: to run as far and fast as possible.

She wouldn't get to see him for half a decade and in that time she had almost fooled herself into thinking that she was over him. But, even after those many years, he was still the same man that she had fallen in love with and she had tried so hard to ignore his smell, the way he acted and the way that his touch still affected her. But alas, she failed.

To protect herself, she put on a façade that showed her as Director Shepard. Tough-ass-nails, stubborn, great ass-kisser and overall perfect and put together person. Occasionally she would slip, she would become Jenny Shepard, the one who was still in love with one Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Sitting on that warm leather chair in an office overlooking the breath-taking harbor, there was no room for Jenny Shepard or her love for Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

_It started out with a kiss  
How did it end up like this  
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss_

Maybe that façade worked too well because all of the sudden, when she thought that she had him again, he goes out and makes a deal with the Colonel. A Colonel that he's suppose to hate because she was stealing his case – more than once. It had the total opposite effect because next thing she hears at the water cooler is that Gibbs and the blonde Colonel had made a deal that when the case was closed, they would finally give into their temptations and kiss.

It was why they were so motivated to finish that damn case. She had pulled small tricks up on her sleeve like trying to stall the subpoenas and whatnots. Yet, it was inevitable. She should've seen it coming.

If she weren't so caught up in work, she would've done more to prevent that from happening – them coming together. She brushed it off dismissing it as a kiss, only one kiss – because that's what she had overheard from Abby and McGee's discussion.

She shouldn't figured that it would turn out to be something more.

She forgot one thing though: with Leroy Jethro Gibbs, there is no such thing as stopping at one kiss.

But once again she ignored her gut, she kept going on the road for success in her career because being the first female director for a federal agency wasn't enough. She not only had to be good at it, she had to be _great_ at it. Close to perfect. That ambition left no room for distractions.

She got what she wanted.

Apparently, Hollis got it too.

Jennifer Shepard walked away from the window walking to her couch where she took her heels of to make her feel that much comfortable and she laid back closing her eyes wanting the mental image of Gibbs' hand on the small of the Colonel's back leading her to his car.

_Now I'm falling asleep  
And she's calling a cab  
While he's having a smoke  
And she's taking a drag_

She didn't know how she got there but the next thing she knew, she was at a bar drowning herself in bourbon. She would do that, when she didn't feel like drinking alone yet wanting the silence of being alone. The bar gave her enough comfort and noise to drown out her own thoughts and regrets while still impersonal and left her alone minding her own business.

She was happy sitting there until they had come in. Jethro and the blonde laughing and cuddling like they were ten years… possibly twenty years younger than really were.

Jennifer Shepard sat on the stool as they exited the bar hand in hand laughing at something one of them said. She had been watching them all night not being able to look away even though it hurt to see him openly flirting and kissing another woman who use to be her. There was one instance where the blonde snuggled up to him and he did nothing but wrap his arm around her shoulders bringing her closer to him smelling her blonde hair and leaving a light kiss there.

Jenny felt like puking.

She wasn't going to. But, boy she really wanted to.

Jenny just didn't want to look like a fool who couldn't keep her liquor down. The bartender had already given her an odd look on her face for ordering bourbon. Apparently, women weren't known to drink those kinds of things; it was too strong and 'macho' for a woman. She didn't want to mention that not only was she the Director of an agency but she was also capable of killing him and not leaving evidence – something she learned from spending time with her good friend Ziva and her 'daughter' Abby.

She glanced out at the window, they were in clear sight and although it was hurting her. She just couldn't look away.

It was like she wanted to see what he was like with her . . . see if he touched the Colonel like he use to touch her; in Paris, Siberia, Marseilles, London.

Jenny swallowed the rest of her drink still looking at them intently as he buried his head in her neck.

Jenny could tell that the Colonel was over her limit. Hollis was swaying in her steps and hanging onto Jethro. She figured the Colonel was still new to bourbon and still couldn't handle it.

It, after all, is an acquired taste.

_Now they're going to bed  
And my stomach is sick  
And it's all in my head  
But she's touching his—chest  
Now, he takes off her dress  
Now, let me go_

Director Jennifer Shepard sat in her car looking out the window. She was thankful that she learned from the best how to blend in and be invisible to the naked eye. They didn't see her as they entered his house, Gibbs' arm around _her_ waist kissing _her _neck. _Her_ being his 'other' woman of course.

Besides the hair, a woman's neck was his fetish.

Jenny should know because she had worn turtlenecks countless times in their short-lived affair.

Jenny shook her head looking back outside at what they were up to.

She felt like a voyeur but she couldn't not look. It was right there in front of her.

She saw their shadows go up the stairs the lights on.

She saw what happened step by step, little by little.

Imagined if only by their shadows how his hand traced her every curve.

_I just can't look its killing me  
And taking control_

But she couldn't NOT look.

And dear God she wanted to. As it turns out, she didn't have much self-control as she pretended to have. Especially concerning Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

But really, is that even news to her now?

When if came to that blue eyed wonder, her barriers just fell out of her control. It's always been that way even when she was the probie and he was the boss.

Funny how things change, they were now the complete opposites: Her the boss, he the subordinate.

Yet, there she was still pinning for the same man who was committed to someone else.

Jennifer Shepard locked her jaw clenching her fists trying her best not to go out to his house and interrupt their evening.

… And for now her best was good enough.

She wasn't so sure about next time.

_Jealousy, turning saints into the sea  
Swimming through sick lullabies  
Choking on your alibis  
But it's just the price I pay  
Destiny is calling me_

_Open up my eager eyes  
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside

* * *

_

Comments/Criticisms?


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